High Scorers’ Concert, Penang 2016

High Scorers' Concert, 2016High Scorers' Concert, 2016High Scorers' Concert, 2016High Scorers' Concert, 2016

所以,今年四月的時候我重考了古典鋼琴第八級。

上一次考的時候我才15歲,剛到新加坡的那一年。為了不想中斷鋼琴學業,我在新加坡硬著頭皮自己報考自己學自己去考場。我還記得考scales and arpeggios的時候,我還中斷了好幾次必須重來,心想這次完蛋了報考費報銷了,怎麼知道竟然及格了。不知道是考官同情我還是怎麼樣,拿到了剛剛好及格的分數-100/150。雖然不是什麼耀眼的成績,那時候覺得在沒有老師指導的情況下可以及格已經很好了,也成為自己常常說嘴的一件事。

去年重新回到鋼琴課的懷抱時,老師看了看那2004年的成績單,問我要不要重考。我這個老師很有個性,做事有他自己的堅持與邏輯。他說這份成績作為鋼琴生涯的一個短暫總結,沒什麼好驕傲的。他問我願不願意在十二年以後用充分的準備挑戰自己,所以在半年裡面我在工作之餘認真的備考,考試的時候還是有手滑不穩當的表現,但整體來說還是挺有信心的走進去走出來哈哈。後來也成功考到140/150的佳績,雪了前恥。

沒想到上個月收到表演邀請。這個演出是給所有今年考試的高分者而設,說實話學鋼琴十多年都沒份參與到,在這個最後一個階級有這個榮幸可以踏上這個舞台,對自己來說是很大的肯定,因為不久前對自己說這輩子要持續的和鋼琴沒完沒了,這個邀請就像是上天與世界跟我說你的選擇對了一樣哈哈。

表演當天四周圍都是年紀輕輕的天才,音樂界是很殘酷的,天份一早就被判高下,我因顯得格格不入而有些尷尬。但當走上舞台,四周圍的安靜,台上只有我,大鋼琴和手指間的音符聲,心裡有一股深深的寧靜。我喜歡在台上的感覺,能夠換取眾人那幾分鐘安靜的尊敬,對我而言的意義勝過一切。

雖然這一路走得磕磕絆絆,但好像,這旅程才剛剛要開始呢。

I took my ABRSM Grade 8 piano exam for the second time this April, 13 years after I took it the first time. And I got invited to the ABRSM High Scorers’ Concert for the first and last time ever in my life.

I owe this opportunity to be on stage to my teacher. He pushed me to reconsider my first results, a bare pass with the score 100/150, and urged me to achieve perfection with the confidence of my potential. On the day of my performance, I awkwardly realised that I was the oldest among the performers, a harsh cruelty of the music world where talent is quickly sifted out at a young age. I was still a nerve wreck when I stepped on stage, but those few minutes of complete silence where I enjoyed the attention of the world with just me, the Steinway Grand and the music flowing off my fingers were absolutely heavenly.

This concert is yet another reminder to me that hard work brings you somewhere, even in the least expected moments and circumstances. And yes, I’ll take this as a sign as well that God doesn’t want me giving up music just yet! :)

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